I woke up with neck and shoulder pain and the inability to swivel rapidly in response to an outrageous statement uttered behind me or to my extreme right or left. This situation was untenable as I must have the ability to pivot suddenly, it's one of my most treasured gestures of astonishment. Remember in All About Eve, when Bette Davis and Gary Merrill are having it out before the big party, and she's going around checking all the cigarette boxes and candy jars? At one point she spins around, righteous little fists firmly planted on her hips, and says "As it happens, there are particular aspects of my life to which I would like to maintain sole and exclusive rights and privileges" and Bill Sampson goes "Namely what?" and Bette does that thing where she makes her already huge eyes even huger and says "Namely you." I love that gesture and have incorporated into it my repertoire, although I'm sure it has more impact in a sumptuous Edith Head gown. I simply must pivot. Succor! I applied Icy Hot. Have you ever used this stuff? I never had, and what an experience. I had no idea what I'd been missing. First it was icy, then it was hot. Incredible. This stuff must be a blast on Ecstasy. The icy part made my shoulder feel numb. What a pleasure to not feel things. If this is temporary pain relief then death must be the greatest feeling ever. So then it went from icy to hot, and what a shocker that was. I tingled at first. When was the last time you tingled? Adults don't tingle, tingling is an indulgence of the very young, and characters in old movies who fall in love. For everyone else tingling is more commonly considered a symptom of an ominous neurological condition, like multiple sclerosis. This Icy Hot stuff is magnificent, my new favorite unguent. I'm going to start applying it just for no reason, to reassure myself that I can still feel.