Over the course of a normal day how much time do I spend being a human being, in the sense that I'm engaged in activities which are uniquely human? I don't know but I'll tell you, usually not when I'm eating. If I'm eating alone my world is a simple one, its boundaries barely extending beyond my fingers. Within the perimeter my world of food is vivid and rich in sensory detail, complex and endlessly fascinating; outside this zone of primal functionality I perceive the vaguest washes of color and large fuzzy shapes that might or might not be significant and just see if I care. Forget mammals, in those moments I'm no more advanced than a bee. People make a lot of grandiose claims for humanity, it's like some kind of pastime. Only humans do this, that behavior is unheard of in the animal kingdom. There's a lot of us vs. them going on, lines drawn in the sand. Animals must find this amusing. I swear sometimes my cat Sam looks up at me sitting at the computer or reading a book and his withering expression says, Oh please, who are you trying to kid? I saw you scarfing down that huckleberry pie when you thought no one was watching. You're no better than me you miserable fake.