My next brain will eschew fancy newfangled features and concentrate on doing a solid reliable job on the fundamentals. Things like, oh, allowing me to sleep eight hours a night perhaps, and maybe also nimbly avoiding the tiresome self-sabotage that seems to be the special talent of my current brain. Yes, this stripped-down, unsexy brain might not wow them at the Brain Show as it rotates on a platform behind a sash-wearing blond spokesmodel given to sweeping but meaningless gestures, but the sophisticated brain aficionado will appreciate its quiet virtues, quality materials, and refreshing emphasis on steady day to day performance instead of flashy add-ons. Unlike my current brain, which is grotesquely festooned with the equivalent of overdesigned cupholders and tacky reflective trim designed to impress in the showroom without adding significant value, my next brain will seem almost staid by comparison, even a little dull, but its superiority will become apparent over years of near-constant use with little need for repairs and only routine maintenance.