As someone stubbornly stuck in his cranky ways, I feel that too much importance is placed on so-called personal growth. I'd like to see the pendulum swing back toward an appreciation of stability and rugged persistence of character, the old virtues which allow one to remain resolutely oneself despite loud and sustained calls for change from friends and loved ones. Some might call this fatalism but I call it the long view. It takes a lifetime to become accustomed to your own glaring character flaws, then just when you've made your peace with them you are pressured from all sides to jettison them completely. My mother probably still considers my infuriating intransigence an adolescent phase. Look at my cat Sam. One of the things I appreciate most about Sam is that he never changes, he has qualities I can count on being there day after day, year after year. I've long since forgotten which of Sam's personal qualities I like and which I don't like, it simply ceased to matter. I don't see Sam losing any sleep over his laziness, narcissism, and appalling record of follow-through on personal projects.

I believe I've evolved a bit over the years, but whatever personal improvement I've shown isn't from any focused effort toward that end. It's more like a happy byproduct of experiences I pursued for reasons that weren't mature or admirable or even sensible. Of course some people can't wait for wisdom to fall into their laps that way, they have to seek self-improvement immediately because their problems are just that daunting or self-sabotaging or threatening to their relationships. There should be one big book called How To Stop Doing That. I think a necessary companion volume would be How To Keep On Doing That And Feel Basically Okay About It, Most Days.