Don't bother trying
  • Never vow to someday show the world what you're made of, because you just don't know how the world is liable to react to something like that.
  • Any further jokes or puns in the form of "____ Eye For The ____ Guy" are hereby strictly forbidden. I mean it.
  • One bad but hilarious thing that sometimes happens is when someone tells you not to blame yourself for some unfortunate situation that occurred, when until that moment you had no intention of doing so. Then you not only seriously consider blaming yourself but you also wonder about that person's motives in telling you not to.
  • Don't bother trying to get your cat into the holiday spirit, it absolutely doesn't work and you will just end up frustrated.
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