A cloacal Christmas

There are ways to combat the season of mandatory cheer and spiritual fraud and consumerist rapacity, just on a private personal level. You will have no effect on society, but when do you ever? You could for example scream obscene epithets at people coming out of Pottery Barn. As partygoers emerge from a car with a beribboned bottle you could seize the bottle and smash it on the pavement, then wave the jagged glass threateningly at a little girl and demand that she sit on Santa's lap. If carolers darken your doorstep you could suddenly throw the door open to reveal yourself sporting nothing but a throbbing erection and scream "Who wants a yule log?"

These childish gestures won't accomplish anything and are not recommended. Let people do whatever they want, while in the privacy of your own thoughts you can entertain ideas and images utterly un-Christmaslike, as a small symbolic protest and a defiant statement of your independence. Thoughts like: the swollen cloacae of giant hermaphroditic earthworms; being buried alive in a coffin; an old sleeping bag soaked in cat pee.

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