Secret Santa is not an evil Santa or a simple anti-Santa, that would be too easy. Secret Santa paradoxically compels a gesture of goodwill and a bestowal of the simple joy of the season to your desk, office, or cube unit, for under five dollars or sometimes it's ten, and the apparent benevolence and apparent voluntariness of this gesture is exactly why it is more insidiously diabolical than mere evil can comprehend. Secret Santa randomly assigns you a target upon whom you are obligated to bestow this joy which is in truth not a joy but an occasion for rage and a source of unending resentment and wicked wicked thoughts. This gesture is mandated by the sinister forces lurking behind Secret Santa, and these forces remain in the shadows and reach into society with cruel fingers of hatred like a puppeteer. Long after evil is vanquished from the land, Secret Santa will dwell in the hearts of office managers and Human Resources witches and infect the innocent like a vile contagion. To resist Secret Santa is to strengthen Secret Santa's hold on the hearts and minds of the holiday cheerful who simply wish to do good and to let the spirit of the holidays possess them, such is the twisted inexorable logic and inevitability of Secret Santa, and such is the inevitable fate of all who willingly allow themselves to be possessed by spirits.