A phrase I really like is "night vision goggles." Not the goggles themselves, or even the idea of them, just the phrase. Actually come to think of it the goggles are pretty nifty, but still.

Tonight on 12th Avenue near Stark I was walking past a convenience store thinking about how I willfully continue to mentally mispronounce foreign words when I come across them in books even after I learn their correct pronunciation, when this guy who looked like the bloated corpse of Richard Dreyfuss in an enormous hooded fur-trimmed parka started swearing at and pounding on the aluminum can recycle machine, then abruptly stopped and got on his skateboard and skated down the middle of the street singing "Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood really loudly, accentuating the BOWM BOWM BOWM bass parts, and then when traffic came from behind he got off the skateboard and moved over to the sidewalk, and proceeded to strut up the street on foot with exaggerated head-bobbing action, like a cross between a demented stork and a sashaying runway model as caricatured by an inebriated drag queen.