Like most people, I am always this close to completely losing whatever meager amount of self-confidence I've somehow managed to acquire. I don't know where some people get such vigorous faith in themselves and their abilities. Maybe some of it is inborn, or the product of a certain kind of rearing. I know my parents weren't exactly assets in this regard. It's clearly completely independent of one's actual gifts, that much is obvious. People with no discernible talent are sometimes brimming with self-assurance, buying rounds of drinks in boisterous camaraderie with their fellow achievers, have another margarita, laugh your goddamn heads off, meanwhile people with talent to burn are shivering alone in the black night like sick animals. But then sometimes it works the other way, untalented frauds are beaten down by repeated dismissal of their woefully unsatisfying efforts, cut down to size in the most pleasing way, and individuals of unusual skill are rewarded with the praise and nurturing support that spurs further ambition. Moreover, the scene is further complicated by the common situation in which people of talent produce uncharacteristically shoddy work, or overreach somehow, whose pattern of escalating triumph is marred by sudden failure, and whose carefully-nurtured self-confidence is then damaged way out of proportion to their overall record of success. Perspective might be the key. But who has perspective? No one. No one has perspective, everyone wants perspective, everyone is constantly advising everyone else to get some perspective, but no one has it.