Ten suggested new mottos for the city of Portland, Oregon:

• "Portland: Where lesbians come to die"
• "Compost or get out"
• "Portland: Singlehandedly shoring up Subaru's stock price"
• "A great mass transit system and nowhere to go"
• "Come for the natural splendor, stay for the Seasonal Affective Disorder"
• "Portland: Ideal for people who can't handle the fast-paced hustle and bustle of Seattle"
• "Great international cuisine without the distracting brown faces"
• "Smelly white boys with dreadlocks bumming change in Pioneer Square does so count as vibrant youth culture"
• "Welcome California failures!"
• "The rain will hide your tears"