Sometimes I wish pleasurable or "fun" experiences could be gotten over with so that they can more quickly become fond, hazy memories I can enjoy from the comfort of my living room, alone. The buildup to fun is something I try to avoid, since too much anticipation often spoils it before it happens, and because the experience itself then tends to take on a self-conscious quality, an "are we having fun yet" kinda vibe, which also tends to ruin things. So the pre-fun period is basically a big nothing for those reasons, a temporal zone of neither here nor there, not having fun yet but too late to start something else, a waiting for fun to commence without acknowledging it as such. It's like an energy-sucking vortex, there's nothing you can do that won't either dilute the fun around the corner or work at cross purposes to it. Then you have fun itself, which, even if you've managed to avoid the pitfalls of self-consciousness in the pre-fun ramp-up period, still very often falls short of one's grandiose plans and high hopes for merriment. That's just the way things go, for all kinds of social events or even solitary outings.

So once fun is planned, the pre-fun buildup is a null period of curious nonexistence and the fun itself inevitably suffers in comparison to how it was envisioned, which only leaves the afterglow. That's why I want to skip the first two parts and jump right to the memories, which I can control, distort, and otherwise manipulate to my own satisfaction, alone in my living room with all my familiar things and no people around to ruin it.