I believe I have mostly gotten over certain kneejerk feelings of suspicion or mistrust when confronted with ordinary kindliness in others. In the past, if someone volunteered to help me with (to me) disarming alacrity, my eyes would narrow and my mental gears would begin to slowly, methodically grind through every possible interpretation except "some people aren't assholes." I guess maybe it's possible that some cheerful asseverations of loyalty aren't masking hidden agendas or deep resentments. Well, there's a simple truth that only took me decades to figure out. Maybe next I'll tackle that pesky self-hatred problem. Nah, too much work.

Okay, I'm overstating it, I didn't react that way every time, but often enough there would be a hint of that, a coloration of my emotional response.

This concludes our Lacerating Self-Awareness Wednesday. I'm going to think warm, loving thoughts about myself now, and maybe have a couple of these cookies.