With technological change certain things are lost. Many intelligent people have commented about sweeping sociological changes wrought by the advent of the cellular telephone, but I mourn something different: the loss of certain physical gestures associated with corded phones, and older phones in general.

For instance, we have the classic "hand mute" gesture. I'm sitting with you and the phone rings, I pick it up. It's that annoying Doreen, she wants to know if we want to meet her for cocktails at that dreadful place out by the bus station. I say hang on and I place my free palm over the mouthpiece and murmur the request to you, making up for the reduced volume of my voice by pointlessly exaggerating my facial expressions while simultaneously shaking my head. Now, this gesture signifies two things: it suggests to you not only that I don't really want to go, but that I suspect you do not either. If I thought otherwise I would've said "Oh hang on I'll ask him!" and then relayed the offer in a normal manner, covering the mouthpiece casually but not really making a big deal about being secretive. Second, the palm-over-the-mouthpiece gesture indicates in a very subtle way that Doreen is very eager for us to go but suspicious about her standing with us, and in fact probably has her ear smashed against her phone, making every effort to eavesdrop on our conversation. With the advent of the mute button, the hold button (previously associated only with business phones) and the tiny tiny telephone (with the microphone the size of a coffee bean), these nuances are lost. With increased efficiency we lose other forms of communication.

Another thing I miss is that hilarious slapstick that occurs when you go to answer a corded phone and, upon lifting the receiver an inch, realize that the cord is tangled or twisted, so that all you can do, in your rush to say something before the caller hangs up, is lower your head down to table level and speak from a comically contorted position, and then the caller begins speaking and you're looking for a chance to interrupt to say "hang on I need to untangle this cord" but the caller is a real magpie so you're stuck hunched over like that for a couple of minutes, being the considerate person you are.