Is it narcissistic to realize that what I really want is a friend like me? I think I'd enjoy my company for the most part, in small doses. Short bursts of me are enough, as I'd be the first to discover. Of course I always need my alone time anyway and I would like to think I wouldn't take that personally, knowing how sensitive I am. I could be a good friend to me but I'd need to understand about my tendency to recede into the shadows periodically. I'd tell myself, hey it's nothing personal. I like you, but I need to be alone sometimes. You understand, you must, being me and all. I'd nod and be reassured, but also still secretly a little suspicious, due to my poor self-esteem, a fact that I, of course, would be aware of, and acknowledge with a little smile as if to say, philosophically, Ah the vagaries of the human heart, or some such banal crap. True to form, I'd find this gentle amusement at my expense patronizing in the extreme. How I loathe the patient superior smile of people like me. Fuck me.
If this relationship worked out (a big if), maybe a third me could join in. The three musketeers. I think we'd welcome me into the fold with open hearts. A little trepidation, no one likes to share. A little jealousy could surface, but that's only natural. Alliances form, two against one, all that business. Communication is the key. And if there are three of me, we could fulfill my lifelong dream of being a Pip. I always wanted to sing backup for Gladys Knight but never dreamed I might one day be all three Pips. When I was little I practiced the spins and gestural flourishes. Just think how perfect the harmonizing would be on "Midnight Train to Georgia" for instance.
Too much for the man, he couldn't make it (double arm raise)
He said he's goin' (left palm flourish)
Goin' back to find (thumb point backwards)
Leavin' (look left and down)
Leavin' on a midnight train (spin)
Goin' back to find (right arm swoop)
Whenever he takes that ride guess who's gonna be right by his side (finger admonish with head shake)
I know you will! (double-palmed window washing gesture)
Leavin' on a midnight train to Georgia woo woo! (twirl and point)
...and so on.